flux.

image via http://www.thefbomb.org

Remember back in the day when we needed to get over someone, we could totally try to pretend that the other person no longer existed?

With the exception of bumping into that person in the street, or at social events thrown by friends left neutral post-split, there was virtually no mental residue of needing to know that person’s current affairs.

Enter the era of social networks, blogs, and status updates – where it’s all out there for the world to see. The ultimate blow of having the magical ability to follow said person’s self-elected dirty-laundry.

I say “this person” because, well, as it pertains to my life specifically this person is not what society would necessarily deem to be an “Ex”. He’s a person who was (circumstantially) important to me, and simply needent be any longer.

I choose to think it’s as simple as that (Stage 1: Denial).

At that point in our whatever-it-was, the wires of communication had become totally tangled. I needed to get over it but there he was online and everywhere.

In an effort to distance myself – and do some detangling – I blocked him on IM (ow). I un-followed him on Twitter (double ow!). I removed him from my feed on Facebook (no one needs to know). I haven’t actually de-friended him on Facebook. After consulting friends about FB rules, everyone considered the maneuver – although strategic – to be pretty harsh.

Did it help?

Well, sorta. Obviously the curiousity takes time to fade. And old habits die hard. I think what happens is, in time, the other person wonders where you went and they reach out to you. And that’s probably the kind of person you’d want to be with in the first place – and so the universe somehow righted itself.

The other night was quite windy in here Santa Monica. It was 4am and I was wide awake and totally spooked.  I randomly posted how I was feeling to Twitter and noticed shortly thereafter that other west-siders were awake and acknowledging that they felt the same way.

This exchange comforted me somehow. It made me feel less neurotic about being freaked out by something so simple as wind.

It’s scary to think that everything I post is on record somewhere, but to participate I realize – like in a real world relationship – that it helps to open up.

I noticed that after posting more opinionated tweets or describing certain situations that my number of followers dramatically increased.  Offering up stuff I was working on, like  DJ mixes, helped too.

Make the experience personal and memorable and people will follow.

Just like the real world, the Twitterverse is full of amazing individuals who love to share their creations, thoughts and opinions.

Get to know your tweeples. Send them messages, read their blogs. You’ll become flattered by the types of people who follow you, and become inspired to offer more.  It makes participation more meaningful than communicating aimlessly in an anonymous online world.